


Hold On to Each Other

by dimethylphenol



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Episode: s07e04 The Feud!, F/F, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, POV Alternating, Slow Burn, broganes, but I fix it because it sucks, canon? haven't met her, like wildly alternating, super self-indulgent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2020-10-10 05:16:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20522555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dimethylphenol/pseuds/dimethylphenol
Summary: Season 8 did Voltron dirty, and here's my attempt at fixing it. Keith balances being both the black paladin and a Disaster Gay™. Lance gets a character arc. Shiro runs out of fucks to give. Hunk is a Soft Boi. And Pidge laughs at them all.This will update periodically as my schedule is pretty crammed, but it won't get abandoned. Work title from Florence and the Machine's June because it's super gay.





	1. No Sé Decirte Cómo Fue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To really fix season 8, I had to go back and fix some stuff in season 7. This takes place right after the end of season 6 and is Keith's POV. Chapters will switch back and forth between different POVs because I get bored writing one character super easily. Plus I love them all. Chapter title from ¿Cómo Fue? by Beny Moré.

Keith always figured this war would kill him. He was far too impulsive for his own good and had negative self-preservation instincts. But he never would have thought that _this_ was the way he would die.

“Seventy-eight bottles of beer on the wall! Seventy-eight bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around …” Keith banged his head repeatedly on Black’s dashboard, hoping to be put out of his misery. If Lance kept singing, it was only a matter of time before Keith spontaneously combusted or disappeared off into the Astral Plane or something. Lance never seemed to shut up, but this, this never-ending _quiznacking_ song, was the absolute worst.

But Shiro said comms needed to stay open because “they were travelling through unknown space without the Castle of Lions as backup” and “needed to be able to let the others know if something goes wrong.” But Shiro really shouldn’t be allowed to boss them around because he didn’t have to listen to Lance. _He_ was asleep on a cot in the back of Black’s cockpit. If he hadn’t literally been dead a few days ago, Keith would have treated his brother to one of the rude wake-ups that were all too common when he lived with Shiro and Adam at the Garrison.

Adam. Keith knew Shiro was anxious about seeing him again on Earth, and to be honest, so was Keith. Their last interaction had been a massive screaming fight and although Keith wasn’t a bratty kid anymore, an angry Adam was still a little terrifying.

“... Sixty-two bottles of beer! Take one down pass it around, sixty-one bottles of beer on the wall!” Keith takes it back. He’ll take an angry Adam any day, just get him out of space with Lance.

And it didn’t help that the rest of the team seemed to be totally fine with Lance’s singing. Hunk was leading the somewhat confused Alteans in clapping along to the beat, and Pidge and Krolia had somehow managed to tune out Lance while they worked to fix the long-range communication to get into contact with the Blades or the resistance.

Thirteen minutes and forty six seconds. That is how long it takes to sing through the entirety of 99 Bottles of Beer, a fact that Keith now unfortunately knew. Listening to every single verse was worse than getting scaultrite from a weblum, but Keith grudgingly admired Lance’s commitment to finishing the song. It was at least _moderately_ impressive. Unfortunately for Keith’s dwindling supply of nerves Lance wasn’t getting on, the red paladin decided to keep singing.

His new repertoire was a collection of pop songs that Keith vaguely remembered being on the radio when they were at the Garrison mixed with an assortment of the cheesiest songs of the 80’s and 90’s. And while the song choices weren’t _great_, Lance could really sing. He was actually shockingly talented, not that Keith would ever tell him that. Hunk sang along with most of the songs and Pidge occasionally looked up from their computer and joined in. Shiro woke up at some point and performed an impressive if incredibly embarrassing rendition of Soft Cell’s Tainted Love. And the simple melodies and lyrics of the songs had the Alteans chiming in for many of the choruses and even Krolia occasionally hummed along.

Keith was the only person not enjoying himself. He didn’t listen to the radio much when he was on Earth, so he didn’t really know the songs. Keith of course recognized that wasn’t a good enough excuse if the _actual aliens_ were singing. He knew deep down that it was because he never had a group of friends to sing and dance and look stupid with. So he didn’t really know how to do it. Which Keith recognized was _stupid_, but he wasn’t exactly the best at socializing, so at least it was keeping with the running theme.

“Oh wait, what about this one!” Lance exclaimed, after finishing a song Keith could only assume was called “My Humps” based on how many times the phrase was said. He started vocalizing a tune, one that nudged the back of Keith’s brain, like something he used to know. “Bumbumbum, bumbum. Bumbumbum, bumbum…”

Pidge popped up in the vis comms and started singing, miming a hat held over their eyes “Oh, well imagine. As I’m pacing the pews…”

Wait, Keith _definitely_ knew this one. It was actually one of his favorites from middle school. He knew all the words, but he couldn’t sing along, right? It was too late for that, he couldn’t join in now.

“... the poor groom’s bride is a whore.”

“I CHIMED IN WITH HAVEN’T YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF” Keith half-yelled half-sang. He really couldn’t help himself, social anxiety be damned. Hunk’s mouth dropped open in a comically shocked expression, while Pidge started laughing hysterically and Shiro gave a teasing push to his shoulder. Keith had to admit, it was a pretty dramatic entrance. But he hadn’t really grown out of his scene phase, so he couldn’t be held accountable for his actions.

Lance however, simply raised his volume to match Keith’s as they finished the song together. The two sang enthusiastically, Lance pretending he was singing into a microphone and Keith dancing awkwardly during the bridge.

The song ended and both Keith and Lance were smiling widely. “Wow, of course Mr. Mullet-and-fingerless-gloves listened to emo music.”

After that the types of songs shifted and Keith started to recognize more of the songs and couldn’t help but sing more. Lance may have teased him about his music taste, but he certainly knew a lot about it. Keith honestly wasn’t sure the last time he had had this much fun, maybe the party on Arus when Lance drank Nunvil and was so disgusted he just toppled over. That was pretty funny.

The sing-a-long carried on for another hour or two, until Shiro told them they should all get some sleep. This prompted a chorus of “Goodnight Space Dad” from Pidge, Lance, and Hunk and an incredibly flustered Shiro. Keith volunteered to take first watch while the rest of the team slept. With his insomnia he didn’t sleep much anyway, so he tended to “accidentally” forget to wake up the next person on watch. Might as well let the others sleep.

Keith stared mindlessly out into the stars and pet Kosmo, occasionally scratching at the rash he had developed after wearing the Marmora suit for two straight years. He hoped they came across a habitable planet soon because he could really use a bath. Keith was honestly surprised Lance hadn’t commented on it, as hygiene-obsessed as he was. Itchiness aside, Keith spent several hours enjoying the calm that came with being awake late at night. Or whatever passed for night in the middle of space.

“_Cómo fue._” Keith jumped at the unexpected noise. He had thought that everyone was asleep, but apparently not. Lance was singing softly from Red and while Keith didn’t understand the words, the tune was beautiful. And if Keith thought Lance sang the pop songs well, his voice was truly enchanting in Spanish. “_No sé decirte cómo fue. No sé explicarme qué pasó. Pero de ti me enamoré,_” Lance continued singing, but his voice grew uncharacteristically shaky, and eventually devolved into soft sobs.

“Are you okay, Lance?” Keith asked softly. He wasn’t sure if he should have said anything, but listening to Lance cry through the comms tore at his heart in a way that surprised him.

“Wha- shit! Yeah no, I’m fine. A-okay. Totally perfect. I didn’t realize the comms were still open. Sorry to bother you.” Lance sniffed and cleared his throat awkwardly. Now Keith was at an impasse because Lance was obviously not okay, but if he wouldn’t admit that to Keith, he wasn’t sure what he could do.

Kosmo, who was far too smart for his own good, decided to solve the problem for him. The Space Wolf teleported with Keith into Red and just as quickly zapped back. Keith landed uncomfortably, sprawled across the pilot’s seat, which, unfortunately, was already occupied. The two boys locked eyes as they realized how close they were. Lance froze with a panicked look on his face while Keith scrambled backwards to lean against the dashboard.

Now that he wasn’t two inches from the other’s face, Keith could see that Lance looked terrible. His hair stuck up at weird angles like he had been running his hands through it obsessively and his face was red, puffy, and still slightly damp.

“I don’t know why you came over here. I was just singing. Yeah, I was just singing this song. And it’s kinda a sad song, so ya know. I was crying a little bit. But _I’m_ fine. The song is sad. Not me. Nope. Not even a little bit.”

Keith cocked an eyebrow, unimpressed by Lance’s rambling and false bravado. After a few seconds, Lance’s confident posture and smirk collapsed. He buried his head in his hands and started crying again.

“I had a nightmare, alright!” Lance half-yelled between sobs. “I had a stupid nightmare and started crying like a baby! Go ahead and laugh. I’m pathetic.”

_Oh no, Lance._ Keith couldn’t make fun of Lance, not for this. “Do you know why I always volunteer for watch duty?” Lance’s sobs continued uninterrupted, so Keith took a deep breath and carried on with his answer. “Well, after my father died, I mostly grew up in the system. I wasn’t exactly … an easy child, so I moved around a lot. And some places were fine, but others were… not. I had one foster father who would lock me in a wardrobe every night. I- I haven’t slept much since then. I get these terrible, trapped-feeling dreams. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is I understand. Nightmares are horrible, but they don’t make you pathetic.”

Keith’s eyes had dropped from Lance’s and he was staring at his shoes. He slid to the floor, tucking his head to his knees and focusing very hard on not crying. Talking about the dreams made him feel shaky and nauseous, something he had learned at the one therapy session Shiro was successful in forcing him to attend. He had never even told Shiro this stuff, although he was sure the man had guessed. But somehow Lance managed to squeeze it out of him.

“Wow, you’ve been dealing with this since you were a kid? And I thought my couple of months was bad.” That statement caused Keith’s eyes to jerk back up to Lance, catching the sad half-smile on his face.

“You’ve been having these dreams for _months_?”

“Basically since we got out here. They’re not always the same and they’ve been getting worse these last couple of days. I thought that heading home, being away from the Empire, and all that would make them ease up, but nope,” Lance said, popping the “p” in nope in a way that would have made Keith laugh in a different context.

“I never knew,” Keith said softly.

“Yeah, well that was on purpose. Nobody knew. I didn’t want anybody to know. I was embarrassed I guess.”

“There’s no need to feel embarrassed,” Keith said quickly. “We would all understand. Nothing about fighting in a thousand year war is easy. Is there anything I can do to help? Do you want to tell me about them?”

Lance quickly shook his head, eyes filling with tears again. Way to go Keith, making Lance cry more, the exact _opposite_ of what he had been aiming for. “No, I- It would be too hard right now. It feels too real.” A pause. “Thank you though. It’s nice just having someone here.”

Lance moved from the pilot seat to the floor next to Keith, close enough that their shoulders just barely brushed against each other. For a while they just sat there, Lance occasionally sniffing quietly or fidgeting with the sleeves of his hoodie. Eventually Lance started nodding off, his head falling to Keith’s shoulder. Keith rested his head on top of Lance’s and decided he could keep watch from here. He may not have a strong connection with Red anymore, but she would still let him know if anything went wrong.

It was moments like these when Keith’s feelings for Lance hit him full force. They were easy to ignore when he was obnoxious or cocky or aggressively heterosexual. But that wasn’t who Lance was, not really. He was the soldier who saved Pidge’s life after nearly being blown up, who was willing to sacrifice his spot on Voltron, who sang emo songs Keith knew so he would feel included. He was kind and smart and brave and beautiful and just a bit too self-sacrificing for his own good. (Not that Keith could really judge.) Fuck, he was so gone for this boy.

Keith’s last thought before he fell asleep was that as bony as Lance appeared, he was also a very comfortable pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If y'all couldn't tell, I really love Nightmares by Trashness and pretty heavily based some parts of this chapter on it, so go read it! Also ¿Cómo Fue? is not a sad song. Sappy and romantic? Yes. Lance is just full of shit sometimes. The next chapter is written but needs some editing, so it will be posted some time in the next week or so. Kudos/comments will encourage me to write faster!


	2. The Moonlight Wings Reflect the Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello I'm back! This took longer than expected because I was in the process of getting my research ready to be published and planning a Boohbah themed party. Idk man college is like that sometimes. This chapter is Pidge's POV and the title is from Africa by Toto because Pidge is a meme-loving fuck. I particularly liked writing this chapter because I'm a giant nerd and Pidge is also a giant nerd. So it works.

Pidge was _ not _ a morning person. On Earth they practically lived on coffee, despite their mom’s objections that it would stunt their growth. Eh, whatever, they could handle being short, but they could not handle being tired. It was the greatest drawback of fighting in an intergalactic war – Pidge was woken up at all hours of the day and night and there was no coffee. None of the alien compounds that Hunk had experimented with came anywhere close, and Pidge was left in a permanent state of sleepy. 

That being said, when Green’s alarms started blaring, Pidge was up in an instant. The only thing more important than their sleep was their tech, especially tech of the giant, sentient variety. Pidge ran to the cockpit to figure out what was wrong, but the moment they looked out of Green’s windshield, the issue was glaringly obvious. They were about five doboshes from crashing into the face of a giant purple planet. They weren’t in any real danger, all they had to do was turn off autopilot. But how embarrassing would it be if all of the Voltron paladins died because they couldn’t steer around a giant-ass rock in the sky.

“Helloooo everybody! It’s wake up time!” Pidge pressed a series of buttons that emitted a god-awful piercing noise in all of the lions. “Which one of you cracked walnuts was on watch and decided running into a planet was your idea of a good time?” 

The vis comms from the other lions flicked on one-by one. Hunk and Romelle had twin looks of panic from Yellow. Allura and Coran on the other hand were polar opposites: Allura’s hair was a giant rat’s nest that Pidge sniggered at, while Coran was surprisingly well-coiffed. Krolia emerged from the back of Green, dagger drawn and looking ready to fight. 

“Uh, has anybody seen Keith? He’s not here,” Shiro said from Black. Huh, weird. Keith was usually the first one awake, he rarely even seemed to sleep. Further proof for Lance that Keith was actually a vampire. Or maybe he was a robot? Pidge couldn’t keep all of Lance’s Keith Rants™ straight. In fact it was weird that Keith hadn’t noticed this stupidly obvious problem first.

“Oh, sorry, I’m here. I must have fallen asleep on watch. It won’t happen again.” Keith was clearly trying to give off strong Black Paladin vibes, but that was pretty hard when the left side of his hair looked like someone had rubbed a balloon against his head and he was blinking slowly like his brain was still asleep. That, and the fact that he was in the Red Lion. What the everloving quiznack? Why was _ Keith _ asleep in the Red Lion? As in Lance’s lion? Pidge was Shook.

Keith ducked off screen and there was some muttering Pidge couldn’t make out, and then Lance popped up, looking equally disheveled. Pidge’s brain was running a mile a minute, trying to figure out what exactly happened between the two of them last night. The first, obvious answer was that they slept together. But this was _ Lance _ and _ Keith _. So probably not. Also they were clothed. Maybe they were just planning the voyage back to Earth? Lance was Keith’s right-hand man after all. But why would they be doing that so late at night? And it wouldn’t explain why Keith looked so sheepish. Ugh, humans were so much more complicated than computers. So many stupid confounding variables. This would require further investigation.

“Let’s get everyone in their lions and land on the planet rather than crashing into it,” Allura said with just a hint of annoyance tingeing her normally diplomatic tone. “Blue’s scanner seems to indicate that the planet is safe. We should see if we can get any supplies or figure out where exactly we are.”

\---------------------

Man, Pidge was really glad they stopped on this planet. They loved Green, but she was starting to feel ever so slightly incredibly claustrophobic. And also, this planet was fascinating. About half of the plants looked shockingly similar to Earth vegetation, but the other half were as purple as they were strange. They’re probably on completely different evolutionary tracks, maybe not even considered the same type of organism. The purple plant-things could be nitrogen fixing, or they could absorb a different wavelength of light, or they could be parasites of the photosynthesizing green plants, or a million other explanations. Pidge could run a comparative analysis of the purple and green plants, if only they had some earth plants as a control… 

Wait, they were getting way off track. Ever since Olkari, Pidge decided they fucking loved plants. They were like computers, but _ alive _ . So cool. But Pidge had a job to do, and unfortunately it had nothing to do with analyzing the local plant life. They made their way from the middle of the forest where they had wandered, back to where the group had landed the lions. Lance and Coran were going through the star charts, trying to figure out what planet they were on, while Krolia and Allura were attempting to connect Blue’s sonic ray to their communication devices. Keith was setting up a campsite, and Hunk, Romelle, and Shiro were off looking for edible food. They probably got to analyze the cool plants. _ Jealous _. 

When Krolia climbed down to Blue’s foot Pidge joined her, while Allura slipped inside the lion’s head. It was really freaking weird working with Krolia. She was so much like Keith it was unnerving. It was like someone made a copy of Keith, but there was a printing error and he turned out a purple woman. Who was also pretty good with computers. Keith was completely clueless, but Krolia’s work with the Blade made her almost as good as Pidge. Almost. 

Pidge had no idea why they couldn’t contact anyone and they hated not knowing. They had been trying nonstop for the last four days with no results. Maybe with help from Blue, they could get into contact with the Blades or Matt or somebody. Although hopefully not, like, the Sendak kind of somebody. It really shouldn’t be that difficult to get a message out. Their fight with Lotor couldn’t have fried their systems so badly that nobody could get their transmissions.

“Hah! I’ve got it!” Krolia exclaimed, a little redundantly, as static suddenly erupted from the speakers. Pidge fiddled with some dials until they reached the secure frequency they used to contact Matt.

“Pidge Holt, paladin of the Green Lion of Voltron, hailing Matt Holt. Come in Matt.” A couple of tense doboshes passed and nothing happened. The rest of the team in the campsite had gathered around the speaker, waiting just as anxiously.

Pidge was just about to give up and go back to looking for the problem, when Matt’s face appeared on the display. “Where the quiznacking hell have you been! Nobody’s heard anything from Voltron for phoebs! Why haven’t you contacted me you little shit! I swear to god I will _ murder you _for making me worry this much!”

Before Pidge could respond to whatever _ that _was from their brother, a very large knife entered their field of vision. “You will not touch the Green Paladin.” Krolia had moved in front of Pidge in a defensive stance and was gesturing threateningly with her fancy glow-sword at Matt. “You may fight against the Empire and you may be blood to them. But the Galra are blood to me and I have not hesitated to strike them down in the protection of the innocent.”

Matt and Pidge stared wide-eyed at each other and then burst into uncontrollable laughter. Pidge may or may not have snorted. 

“No, no, no no, that’s just how siblings talk to each other on Earth,” Lance said over Pidge’s shoulder, clearly holding back his own laughter. “Especially when they’re worried. I got lost on the beach once during tourist season and when Luis and Veronica finally found me they sounded downright homicidal.”

Krolia lowered her sword, looking as sheepish as a badass Galra spy was capable of looking. “I suppose I didn’t interact with many humans on Earth. I apologize.” Krolia nodded her head to Matt, and then suddenly shifted back into business mode. “You said Voltron has been missing for phoebs. Explain.”

Matt had to take a few ticks to compose himself, and while he managed to stop snickering, he still had half a smile on his face. Pidge was embarrassed to be related to such a giant dork sometimes. “The last known location of Voltron was near the ruins of Diabazaal, four phoebs ago. Then nothing. The region of space you’re in now was crawling with Galra ships just after we lost track of you guys, so we sent some ships to investigate once they cleared out. Got some _ weird _ quintessence readings, but nothing else. That have anything to do with Voltron’s disappearance? Um, also who are you?” Matt directed the last question to Krolia a little hesitantly, eyeing the Blade now sheathed at Krolia’s side.

“That’s my mother, Krolia. She’s a Blade of Marmora agent,” Keith chimed in, just as business-like as Krolia. “The two of us discovered that Lotor was using a hidden colony of Alteans, draining them as a source of quintessence. We fought Lotor who used the Sincline ships to access the Quintessence Field, where we defeated him. The Castle of Lions had to be sacrificed to repair the damage from the battle. We are now on route back to Earth to rebuild the ship. For us, only several quintants have passed.” Huh, that was shockingly well-spoken for Keith. Two years on a Space Whale seemed to have done wonders for his maturity.

Matt nodded, processing the information. “If you can make your way to Olkarion, we could help speed up your journey. The Olkari have been experimenting with wormhole technology, and with Allura to power it, we could get you to Earth in no time.” 

Excellent, Pidge loved that plan. They loved Olkarion- it was where they felt most connected both to Green and nature. Plus they hadn’t seen Ryner in forever and maybe she could teach them some more cool plant-bending tricks.

“Wait a sec, just a couple of problems with that plan,” Lance interjected. Way to be a buzzkill Lance. “So, based on what Allura said about the power levels of the lions after fighting Lotor, and where Coran and I have figured out our location is — we’re on Niaru-57 in quadrant 3 of the Verque Galaxy by the way — it would take us a lot longer for us to get to Olkarion than for you to come to us.”

Pidge had to concede that Lance was probably right. Green had felt sluggish since they left the Quintessence Field, and the lions certainly weren’t built for long-distance travel. “Lance actually makes a good point. So I guess we’ll wait here for the Coalition, and that should take, how long exactly?”

“About three and a half days give or take.”

“Thanks Lance. So like four quintants. That’s not too bad. We’ll see you then.”

Matt talked a little bit longer with Allura and Keith to finalize the plans and then signed off. Hunk, Shiro, and Romelle eventually returned with some food they had found and the little group had a surprisingly good dinner of large, blue pumpkin-looking fruits that tasted vaguely of mint ice cream.

Alien produce aside, dinner was weird for another reason. Keith and Lance were sitting right next to each other and hadn’t argued once. Not even a singular mullet comment. It was bizarre. This, combined with whatever had happened last night in Red, was just weird. The two had been getting along better before Keith left for the Blades, but this was much more than that. And the fact that this (whatever it was) had happened twice in such a short time frame made it unlikely that it was an outlier.

More data needed to be collected before any kind of conclusion could be drawn, so Pidge spent the rest of dinner closely watching the pair. They paid more attention to Lance, because he was usually the catalyst in any fight between them. Keith was currently telling the story of trying to teach Kosmo how to fetch and Lance was staring at him, a stupid, sappy look on his face. Curiouser and curiouser. 

Pidge needed some concrete evidence, but they had a hypothesis. One that they were pretty sure of. Lance had a giant gay crush on Keith. It would make sense; Lance’s over the top rivalry with Keith could definitely be the space equivalent of pulling pigtails on the playground.

Pidge hummed quietly to themself as they thought through their theory. Lance noticed and gave them a confused look. And continued not to take the hint when Pidge looked pointedly between Lance and Keith and gave an exaggerated wink. He gave an _ I never understand what Pidge is saying _ shrug and turned his attention back to Keith, puppy-dog expression slowly creeping back. Well, if Pidge was right and he _ did _ have a crush on Keith, Lance was certainly unaware. Pidge _ could _ be a good friend and teammate and gently break the news to the two of them, but of course _ that _ wasn’t going to happen. This was too good an opportunity to waste. The amount of teasing to be unleashed when it finally hit Lance? Excellent. And Keith’s reaction? Pidge could not wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is mostly written, but after that updates will probably slow down even more. Sorry. But kudos/comments will encourage me to write faster!


	3. Don't Let Me Get Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all. Here's Lance's POV. There is a fair amount of self-deprecating language in this chapter, and if that doesn't make you feel great, let me know in the comments and I'll let you know what happened. The first part of the chapter is fine though, up until the dashes. On that note, I'm not great at responding to comments, but I read them all and they make me so happy! Chapter title from P!nk's Don't Let Me Get Me.

After four days of tossing and turning restlessly on the cramped and uncomfortable cot in the back of Red’s cockpit, Lance should have jumped at the chance to toss and turn restlessly on the gloriously soft purple moss on Niaru-57. The moss really was incredible, almost tempurpedic; his poor aching spine was thrilled. But Lance couldn’t even enjoy his insomnia in peace. Every time he closed his eyes, his nightmares came to haunt him and a different member of his family would die. So far tonight it had been his Papí, Veronica, Pidge, Baby Nadia, Coran, and most recently Keith.

Lance had been trying to avoid thinking about it, but Keith might actually be able to help. Last night was the first time in Lance couldn’t remember how long that he didn’t wake up sweating and shaking. He woke up to Keith whisper-yelling at him, which was also unpleasant. But lesser evils and all that. And as much as it annoyed Lance to have to ask for help from Keith of all people, he was willing to sacrifice his pride for sleep. 

Lance groaned internally as he mentally prepared himself to ask Keith, his  _ rival _ for help. Once he was done being annoyed and just slightly embarrassed, he hopped to his feet in a fluid motion. Keith was not lying across the campsite where he had gone to bed hours earlier, but was, for whatever reason, standing just in front of Lance, an amusingly surprised look on his face.

“Oh good, you’re awake,” Keith whispered, expression shifting from surprise to embarrassment. “I was just wondering if, um- That maybe we could- Well, last night I slept better than I had since I was a kid. And I can’t sleep again. So I thought…”

Keith fidgeted nervously and was pointedly avoiding eye contact.  _ Oh my god, he’s never going to get it out. _ “You want to sleep together,” Lance interrupted.

“No! I mean not  _ sleep together _ sleep together. Just sleep next to each other.”

“Well, yeah that’s what I meant. Obviously.” Wow, Keith was such a weirdo sometimes. They certainly weren’t about to do the horizontal tango in the middle of the campsite. Lance unceremoniously plopped back down on the moss and patted the ground next to him. Keith, clearly still uncomfortable, curled up next to him in a fetal position so tight it could  _ not _ have been comfortable. With Keith’s back turned, Lance let out a quiet sigh of relief. Not only was he saved from the mortifying experience of asking Keith to sleep next to him like a scared toddler, Keith also needed Lance’s help. And that felt pretty damn good. 

Lance ignored the tense energy radiating off of his teammate and focused on Keith’s quiet breathing, allowing the soft, rhythmic sound to block out the terrible visions behind his heavy eyelids.

“Thanks Lance,” came Keith’s soft voice next to Lance.

“Thank you too, Keith,” came Lance’s half-whispered reply as he drifted into sleep.

\---------------------

“Helloooo and welcome to another exciting episode of the craaaziest game in the galaxy: Garfle Warfle Snick!”

When Lance said he didn’t want nightmares anymore, this weird-ass dream was not exactly what he had in mind. He and the other paladins were lined up in a brightly lit game show studio and there was a small, bright green alien in a hoverchair floating in front of them, who was apparently Bob, the show’s host. Man, the subconscious really comes up with some wild stuff.

While Dream Keith talked to Bob, Lance looked around, examining the dream and enjoying the much-needed break from the screams of his family. 

“... trapped here in our studio for the rest of eternity.”

Wait a sec, what? This was  _ not  _ the light-hearted dream Lance wanted it to be. And then metal gauntlets surrounded his feet, trapping him to the floor, and Bob’s voice grew distorted and super creepy. Great, his brain just decided to do a new surrealist take on his classic nightmares. This one was sure to end in screaming and crying like all of the others. Ugh. Maybe he could wake himself up now, and quit while he was ahead.

“Alright, not that I’m not enjoying my time in this weird-ass dream, but I’m done now. So goodbye, Space Steve Harvey! I’m waking up,” Lance announced as he pinched himself dramatically. He expected to find himself back on the ground of an alien planet, but he stayed firmly planted in the studio. Lance kept pinching himself, growing more frantic. 

“I don’t think this is a dream, Lance,” Pidge said quietly from next to him. “At least, it doesn’t feel like a dream to me. And I’m pretty sure I was still awake on Niaru-57, working on the communicators.” Well, shit. That was not ideal. And neither was the calculating look Bob was giving him.

“I was going to start with Voltron’s fearless leader Keith, here. But it looks like we’ve got a volunteer for the first Warfle everybody! Step right up, Lance!” Bob said in a disturbingly upbeat tone.

There was a cheer from an unseen audience as the floor beneath Lance levitated him to a podium next to Bob. “This dummy here thinks this is a dream, can you believe it? Although I’ve got to say, I  _ am _ pretty dreamy,” Bob said in a sickly sweet voice while doing slow loop-de-loops in his chair. “Now Lance,” he continued, “your Warfle is so simple even  _ you _ could do it, ya big dum-dum!” Canned laughter erupted from the dark audience-less space and Lance scowled. Like wow, way to call a guy out. “You’ll be asked trivia questions about you and your adventures as a Paladin of Voltron. There’s a catch, though. Answer the question wrong, and your team will pay the price. Sounds good? Okay, let’s go!”

_ Fuck fuck fuckity fuck _ . The phrase “your team will pay the price” did  _ not _ sound good. And Lance didn’t really test well. Like at all. Even simple spelling quizzes in elementary school made him want to vomit. Lance hadn’t been this nervous since the entrance exam to get into the Garrison. And he had had to run to the bathroom to  _ actually _ vomit once the time was called. Man, he hoped Pidge was wrong and this really was the world’s worst dream. 

Bob pulls a stack of cards out of thin air and said “The first question is pretty easy. What are the names of the three bounty hunters who tricked you and stole the Blue Lion? You have twenty ticks.”

Wow, way to start with a question that made Lance feel like absolute shit. He didn’t exactly want a reminder of probably the most embarrassing day of his life. “Well, there was Nyma…” She was easy to remember. Lance didn’t think he could ever forget the soul-crushing humiliation he watched her fly off with Blue while he was space handcuffed to a tree. “And then there was the guy. Ya know, the guy! The guy with the nose! Hunk didn’t like him. He was a sketchy dude so, fair enough Hunk. And the robot. Pidge loved it. What was its name? Booper or Beeper or Blinker or something, right?” 

Lance knew he was rambling at this point, but he couldn’t stop the words pouring out of his mouth, but he could  _ not _ remember the other two names. And to make matters worse, the paladins were dead silent, watching him. Judging him. Knowing that he would fail. Good old Lance, the seventh wheel. Although with Krolia and Romelle, it was more like the ninth wheel. Hell, he probably ranked below Kosmo at this point, at least the Space Wolf could teleport. Lance couldn’t even remember two  _ fucking names _ !

“Well, Lance, your time is up and you did not give the names Rolo or Beezer. So you know what happens now!” Bob said in his disturbingly happy voice. He pressed a big red button and beam of electricity surged through the paladins. Lance stood petrified as they gasped and groaned in pain until, after what felt like an eternity, the current subsided. He could kill his team if he didn’t answer the questions correctly. And he couldn’t even answer the first question! An easy question! Bob was right, he was an idiot. He didn’t even deserve to be a paladin. 

“... you’ve got another twenty ticks.” Bob’s voice broke through Lance’s panicked thoughts. 

“Umm…”  _ Fucking idiot! _ “Could you repeat the question?”

“Nope, that’s not how this game works, you dummy! You’ve got still got twelve ticks on the clock!”

_ Shit! _ Lance had no idea what the question could have been. But he couldn’t bear to see his friends electrocuted again, so time to bullshit and hope for the best. “Red Lion, Blue Lion, Alfor, the Galaxy Garrison, quintessence, Arus, the Balmera, Vrepit sa, the Omega Shield, the-”

A loud bell interrupted Lance’s word vomit. “Congratulations Lance! The Omega Shield is the correct answer for the location of your death and subsequent reanimation!” Bob announced, accompanied with cheers from the void audience. Seriously,  _ that _ was the question? To Lance’s right, Allura was looking guilty and vaguely nauseous while Pidge, Hunk, and Keith looked shocked. Well, Hunk and Pidge looked shocked, Keith was … angry? Constipated? Lance could never figure him out. 

“You  _ died _ , Lance? And that wasn’t the first thing you told me when I got back?” Keith yelled across the studio.

“He didn’t tell us either and we were there with him,” Hunk responded more quietly, a betrayed tone to his voice that broke Lance’s heart. 

Keith either didn’t hear Hunk or was pointedly ignoring him, as he continued “And Allura! Did you think that bringing a Paladin back to life was something I didn’t need to know?”

“Hey, Keith that’s not fair!” Lance yelled back, “I didn’t need to tell you guys. There were more important things happening. And it’s not like I stayed dead.”

This time all four Paladins opened their mouths to, presumably, yell at Lance some more, but Bob interrupted them. “Clock’s ticking, time for the next question Lance! Who was your first crush at the Galaxy Garrison?”

At least this one was easy. “Jenny Shayborn.” There was no fanfare, no indication that he had given the correct answer. “Yeah, it was Jenny. She sat in the front row of intro to aviation second semester.” Still nothing. “She was tiny and so sarcastic. I thought she was the coolest person ever.”

“You’re out of time again Lance, and didn’t give the correct answer of Takashi Shirogane.”

Lance.exe has stopped working. The paladins were shocked again and Lance couldn’t process any of it. He was back on the this-is-a-crazy-dream theory because there was no way Lance had a crush on Shiro. “Nonononono. That’s not possible. I mean, I remember him talking to the pilot track kids the first week. And he was so inspiring, he became my hero. And I thought his hair was awesome. And he learned all of our names and he shook my hand. And oh my god I had a crush on Shiro.  _ I had a crush on Shiro _ . Holy shit.” Lance could feel the blood rush to his face as he turned to his friends, eyes wild. “All of you are not allowed to tell Shiro that oh my god this is so embarrassing.”

If Lance thought the response to the last question was dramatic, well it was, but this was also dramatic. Once they recovered from the electric shock, Pidge started giggling in their worryingly gremlin-like fashion. Hunk was smirking in a way which seemed to imply that he knew all along. The bastard. Allura was perplexed. And Keith was doing his best stone wall impression. One of these days, Lance was going to catch an emotion on his face other than emo frustration. 

“Question number four: how many of the Empire’s so-called “robeasts” has team Voltron fought?”

Lance could, in theory answer the question. Fighting a giant, quintessence-powered monster hell bent on squashing you is not something a person easily forgets. But Lance’s  _ stupid brain wouldn’t focus _ . It wanted to live in an endless spiral of every awkward interaction Lance had had with Shiro when he was younger, every cringe-worthy rant to Hunk, every missed sign that he had a giant crush on Shiro. Wait, did that mean he was gay? No, he definitely had a crush on Jenny. And Nyma. And Allura. And numerous other women. Although clearly Lance was not good at identifying when he had crushes on people. So maybe… 

“You got this Lance!” Pidge’s cheer broke through Lance’s frazzled thoughts. The rest of the team joined them. Although Hunk and Allura’s enthusiastic yells were a little overpowering, Lance didn’t miss Keith’s more subtle half-smile and nod. 

Robeasts. Lance got this. The one on Arus, the one on the Balmera, the one in the explodey blue crystal things, and the one on Olkarion. “Four! There were four robeasts!”

The bell rang again and Lance breathed a sigh of relief. After that, the questions got better. That’s not to say he got all of the questions right; he still had to watch helplessly as his team got electrocuted by the sadistic Yoda and some were less questions are more call-outs of all his mistakes. But he was more confident. He didn’t get trapped in his downward spiral as often, and when he did, his team was there to help him out. 

And hearing his team cheer for him, that they believed in him, that they thought he wasn’t a total failure, really made all the difference. Because it wasn’t like the questions were that hard and despite whatever Bob kept saying, Lance wasn’t stupid. He just had to keep telling himself that. Because if he let himself slip into that mindset, then he really would act stupid. And  _ Lance wasn’t stupid _ . 

But when Bob finally said Lance had won his waffle or whatever, he nearly collapsed out of relief. He was floated back over to the rest of the paladins and quiet tears leaked out of his eyes. Lance couldn’t help it; Bob was a giant dick, this stupid game show was stressful as fuck, and Lance was just a crier. 

Hunk placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and the rest of the team said soft, reassuring things Lance only half-heard. Then Bob called Hunk over to the podium and it started all over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the first of a six chapter arc about the game show. I actually liked this episode a lot, but I thought the writers could have used it as a character development episode rather than just a filler. But then again, the writers don't seem to be huge fans of character development 🙃. The first five chapters will be pretty angsty because Bob is a dick, and the last will be some recovery and growth. As always, love me some kudos/comments and they will encourage me to write faster!


	4. I'm Still Standing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys look who's not dead! I'm so sorry I took forever to update. I had a bad case of writer's block and some gay drama of my own that needed dealing with. Here's Hunk's part of the game show episode, I actually really like how it turned out! Chapter title is Elton John's I'm Still Standing

Hunk had a stomach ache. He always got stomach aches when he was scared, and right now he was really,  _ really _ scared. Lance was still shaking after his Warfle, and now Hunk was standing at the podium. He took a couple of deep breaths in a desperate attempt to get his nerves under control. He could do trivia, he actually had a pretty good memory for that kind of thing. Hunk didn’t think he could stand watching his friends get electrocuted, so he was just going to have to ace this. No pressure.

“So Hunk, how’re you feeling” Bob asked in his fake-sincere voice.

The answer Hunk wanted to give was  _ AAAAAAAHHHHHH _ and then maybe hurl, but he wasn’t going to give Bob the satisfaction. Not after what he did to Lance. So he settled for, “ready for some trivia, Bob,” and the world’s fakest smile.

“Oh, you’re not doing trivia, that’s just for dummies like Lance over there,” Bob replied. Hunk bristled and opened his mouth, ready to defend his friend. But at the same time, his stomach ache increased exponentially. If he wasn’t doing trivia, what was he doing? “Your Warfle will require a scenery change, so here we go!” Bob continued with a snap of his fingers. 

Hunk was no longer standing on a game show stage, but in the universe’s creepiest, spookiest forest. The rest of the paladins were standing in a group behind him, looking around with wide eyes, probably as disoriented as he felt.

“All you have to do, Hunk, is lead your team to the finish line in under ten doboshes. Follow the glowing arrows, and your time starts …. Now!” As Bob spoke, arrows appeared on the ground and a timer on Hunk’s wrist. Alright, he could do this. He was a paladin of Voltron. He had done much scarier things and survived.

Hunk took a few calming breaths before squaring his jaw and walking forward. _ I am brave. I can do this _ . The trees loomed around him, the wind howled, things seemed to move in his peripheral vision. Hunk’s nausea increased tenfold and his heart raced.  _ I am brave. I can do this.  _ A branch snapped directly behind Hunk and he jumped and turned, wild-eyed. Allura shrugged sheepishly, a broken stick beneath her foot. With another deep breath, Hunk turned and continued to trudge forward, but his heart was definitely going to explode at this rate.  _ I am brave. I can do this _ . Then something lunged at him from the right.

_ Nopenopenope.  _

Hunk ran blindly from the dark shape until he heard the cries of his friends behind him. The creepy shape immediately forgotten, Hunk turned to see them being electrocuted, again. Hunk doesn’t get angry easily. The number of times he’s been really, truly mad he could probably count on one hand. But when he saw Bob pop out of nowhere, floating a couple of feet above the paladins, he felt his blood boil.

“I told you to follow the arrows, didn’t I,” Bob said with a loud, fake laugh. Hunk looked down to see he had run several yards from the path in his hurry to get away from the thing that had attacked him. He ran hurriedly back to the group, and the moment he set foot on one of the glowy arrows, the bolts of energy surging through his friends stopped. Hunk breathed a sigh of relief before he looked around for Bob, but the sadistic alien was nowhere to be seen. Hunk was going to figure out a way out of this nightmare and then Bob would meet the business end of his bayard.

“Are you guys ok?” Hunk asked. Allura and Keith responded with curt nods, Pidge gave a thumbs up, and Lance a shaky smile. Looking down at the timer, Hunk saw that he had lost almost two doboshes. He did not want to find out what would happen when the counter reached zero. Hunk took a deep, settling breath, then walked forward.

He only managed about twenty steps, until he physically couldn’t anymore. It was like he was hitting an invisible wall. He looked around for a way around. Or maybe something to break the wall with?

“Hunk! He turned when he heard Lance call him from a few yards behind him. The team was clustered around Pidge, who had collapsed to their knees. Hunk raced back to his friend, who was crying silently and shaking.

“Pidge? Are you hurt? What happened?”

“I was too late.” Their whisper was so quiet Hunk could barely hear it.  _ Too late for what? _ What he  _ did _ hear was the distinct sound of something large moving behind him. He had to resist the urge to spin around, panicked. Whatever it was, Hunk just had to hope it would ignore them, because right now Pidge needed his help.

“There’s no code. It’s his birthday. I was too late. I was _ too late _ .” Pidge continued to mutter, growing louder and more anguished.

_ No code? Birthday? _ Then it hit Hunk. That was how Pidge found their brother. Bob was somehow making Pidge think their brother died in the rebellion uprising.

“Your brother’s alive, Pidge. We talked to him this morning. Do you remember?”

But Pidge didn’t seem to hear him, staring blankly ahead. Hunk wanted to shake them, but he knew that was not the best way to snap them out of whatever trance they had fallen into. Instead he gathered the small person in his arms and gave them the tightest hug. He swayed back and forth, quietly whispering “It’s ok. He’s alive, it’s ok.”

Eventually Pidge’s head shot up, and they looked wildly around. “Hunk! What? Matt was… but no?” Hunk had to smother a small laugh at that; Pidge was not the most eloquent of paladins.

“I think it was a trick Bob pulled. We’re all ok, but we’ve got to get going,” Hunk replied as he got to his feet.

But apparently Bob wasn’t done messing with them because as he got fully upright, the landscape violently shifted. They weren’t standing in a spooky forest anymore, but on the world’s narrowest cliff ledge. It was only about a foot wide, barely enough room for the glowing arrows running along it. To the right was a sheer cliff face, to the left was a dizzying drop to nothingness below.

“Nononononono I don’t like this. Oh man. I can’t do this,” Hunk gasped, clinging to whatever handholds he could grab on the rock wall. His heart raced, his stomach turned. He was going to die.

A hand was placed on his shoulder, the fingers beating out a steady rhythm.  _ One, two, three, four _ . It must have been Lance, and a glance over his shoulder proved it. Lance had taught him the breathing tactic to help with his anxiety, and Hunk was never more grateful for his friend. A couple of slow breaths and Hunk was ready to move forward. A quick glance to the timer showed that they had lost half of their time.

Keeping Lance’s hand tight in his own, Hunk led the team forward, slowly inching their way along the cliff. The terrifying, life-threatening cliff. All Hunk wanted to do was cling to the cliff face and never move again, but the grounding presence of the team behind him kept him going.  _ I am brave. I can do this. _ Through his tight grip on Lance’s hand Hunk could feel both of their pulses racing, but a look backwards showed Lance’s trademark half-smile. He had a blank look in his eyes, but he was probably trying not to focus on the fatal fall to the right. Hunk knew he was.

They had been walking for about a dobosh before Hunk hit another invisible wall. He turned quickly to see Allura, who was last in line, frozen just like Pidge was. Of  _ course _ she was the farthest one away.

“Hey Keith, can you make sure she’s ok?” Hunk called down the line. Keith nodded, but seemed to hit the same wall Hunk was hitting.

“Nuh uh!” Bob called, popping out of nowhere like an evil Cheshire Cat. “That’s not his job!” Honestly Hunk wasn’t surprised, having Keith help would make it too easy. Didn’t make him want to punt the little alien like a soccer ball any less though.

Hunk slowly turned in a circle, so he was facing Allura.  _ I am brave. I can do this. _ He just had to get around Lance, Pidge, and Keith, break Allura out of whatever trap Bob put her in, make his way back to the front, and get to the finish line, wherever it was, in – he checked his watch – just under four doboshes.

Lance plastered himself to the cliff wall behind him to allow Hunk as much room to move around him. Easing around Pidge was easier because they were so small. Keith was the trickiest because he had, in Lance’s words, “gotten super swol on the Space Whale” and while Hunk thankfully had no personal space bubble, he could tell Keith was not super comfortable with Hunk directly in his face. By the time he got to Allura, tears were running freely down her face and she was staring off into the void beyond the cliff.

“My father. My friends. My home. They’re all gone. I’m the last one left.”

Hunk wasn’t sure what to say to that. Unlike with Pidge, what Bob was presumably showing Allura was real. Altea was gone.

“I know Princess. I’m so sorry. But you still have Coran. And we’ll find the hidden colony eventually. But right now we’ll be gone too if we don’t hurry.” Hunk placed a hand on her shoulder and Allura eventually turned to look at him, the fog slowly clearing from her eyes as Hunk’s words pierced Bob’s illusion. While she continued to cry silently, she squared her jaw and gave a sharp nod.

As with Pidge, the moment Hunk turned to start heading along the cliff, the landscape shifted. And never in a million years would Hunk have thought that he would want to go back to a six-inch ledge over an endless drop. But it was preferable to his current location. Which was on a tiny rock platform surrounded by an ocean of lava.

The finish line was in sight, but there was no way to get to it. They were separated from the frankly cartoonish finish line (which would be more suited to the end of a clown-themed marathon rather than what Hunk could only assume was Hell) by about twenty yards of boiling lava. The arrows mapped out a path, but it was much too great a distance to jump and there was nothing within reach to serve as a boat or a bridge or anything.

A beep at his wrist told Hunk they had one dobosh left. Hunk looked around, panicked. He could feel bile rising in his throat. They were so close to the end and he failed. There had to be something he could do.

Well, there was something he could do. Taking a deep, four-count breath, Hunk stepped off the rock.

The rest of the paladins screamed, but Hunk was smiling. There was some kind of barrier, just above the lava. It was a little warm on the bottoms of his feet, like the asphalt at the Garrison in the middle of August. But it was safe. Hunk wasn’t sure if it was just a strip along the arrows, or if it continued beyond them, but he wasn’t about to test his theory.

Hunk started running to the finish line. They were so close. And then he ran face-first into another one of Bob’s  _ stupid _ walls.  _ Wow that hurt _ . Hunk could feel blood dripping down from his nose, which hopefully wasn’t broken. Allura was right behind him with Lance and Pidge not far behind. Keith, however, was still on the rock, a look Hunk had never seen him wear on his face. Keith was terrified.

With a quick “stay here” to the rest of the paladins, Hunk sprinted as fast as he could to Keith.

“Keith! Look! It’s totally safe, but we need to go now!” Hunk yelled. He knew he had been more comforting to Pidge and Allura, but they were very pressed for time. Plus, this was  _ Keith _ . He’d be fine.

“I can’t do fire,” Keith said, with a barely concealed shake to his voice.

“You were the  _ Red Paladin _ ! The  _ fire _ paladin! What do you mean you can’t do fire?”

“My dad died in a fire.”

_ Oh. _ Well shit, Hunk felt like a total asshole. The rest of the team was so much more open about their emotions that it sometimes felt like Keith didn’t have them. Hunk offered Keith a hand. “We’ll do it together. I’ll be here for you.”

Keith gave him half a smile and took his hand. He followed Hunk across the lava, with Hunk having to coax out each step.

Another beep at his wrist. Just ten ticks. They were still too far away. With a quick look of apology to Keith, Hunk lifted him into a fireman’s carry. Keith was  _ really _ heavy, but they had to get to the finish line.

Hunk ducked his head and ran as fast as he could. His heart was beating in his throat and his breath came in gasps. The moment he set foot across the finish line, he collapsed, limbs shaking

He was never doing that again.

Hunk blinked and he was back in the game studio, leaning against the podium so his legs didn’t give out.

“Congratulations Hunk, you have completed your Warfle, with just one tick to spare!” Bob said to a nonexistent audience, which gave a loud cheer. Hunk was definitely crashing after all of the adrenaline that had surged through his body, but he had just enough energy to give Bob a searing glare as he was hovered back to his spot with the team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm currently working on the next chapter, and it shouldn't take me as long as this one did lol. Let me know what you think!


	5. Which Direction to Choose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all I'm just as surprised as you are, but here I am. Maybe it was because I had a research paper due, but I wrote this chapter really fast. I wasn't even planning on writing it, I was thinking about scrapping the rest of this arc to try to get over my writer's block. But the comments on the last chapter inspired me to keep going, thanks!! And this was my first time trying my hand at writing some action scenes, hopefully I did ok! Chapter title from Cabrona by Gin Wigmore.

When Allura was little, her father would tell her bedtime stories. Tales of incredibly powerful beings who wandered the cosmos. Some were benevolent, some were tricksters, but they all had immense power and the ability to shape reality to their whim. She eventually grew out of these stories, and had assumed that even if beings like that existed, the tales were largely exaggerated. Evidence to the contrary sat in front of Allura in a hoverchair, giggling like a madman. What  _ was  _ left out of those bedtime stories was that these beings were quiznacking bitchholes. 

(Allura wasn’t exactly sure if she was using that last word correctly. Pidge had been trying to teach her Earth cursing, but Allura would admit she wasn’t picking it up very quickly. Alteans had such advanced translating technology that learning other languages wasn’t really emphasized.)

Hunk was still panting from his Warfle and Lance still looked a bit shaky. Allura herself could still feel the remnants of the electric shocks coursing through her body. Whatever Bob had in store for her, she wanted to get it over as soon as possible.

“Hello there Princess, looks like it’s your turn!” Bob simpered as she settled down behind the podium.

“Please Bob, we are paladins of Voltron.The fate of the universe depends on us, we need to return to our lions!” Allura knew she was a good diplomat, as a princess of Altea she began training almost as soon as she could read. But Bob was not a planet on the fence about joining the Voltron Coalition, and she wasn’t sure if any of her skills could save them.

“Well of course you’re paladins of Voltron! Why do you think I’ve brought you all here?” Bob replied joyfully.

“So you side with the Galra? Surely you cannot support them! The Empire is a cancer that kills everything it touches. Do you mean to trap us here? Then why do you play these games?” But Bob didn’t answer her questions, just laughed and with a snap, transformed the room.

Allura’s heart jumped as she recognized the castle’s training room, and then fell as she remembered that it was destroyed and this was just an illusion.

“I don’t mean to trap you here at all! In fact, for your Warfle all you have to do is get  _ out  _ of this trap,” Bob said with an unnaturally wide grin on his face, amused at his own (frankly mediocre) play on words. For half a second, the invisible maze flashed in front of her before it faded away. Allura waited a second, expecting her team to give her instructions. This was a basic exercise in team building, so she was sure she would be able to get through.

But when no voices came, Allura started to panic. Not too much, mind you, she  _ was  _ royalty after all. She frantically tried to remember the pattern of this particular maze and compare it to ones she had done in the past. She could do this on her own.

The first turn she knew: five steps forward then turn right. After that she knew it was either a left turn or straight, but she wasn’t sure which was the correct path. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Turn. If Allura had to guess, she would say there were four steps to the intersection, and she might as well try the straight path first, it would be easier.

Eight hesitant steps later, Allura hit a wall. She jerked back, expecting the usual shock the walls gave off, but there was nothing. Allura smiled, that made her task easier. Keeping her hand on the wall she turned. No breaks in the walls around her; she was in a dead end. Allura returned to the intersection and took the left branch. Two more rights. Dead end. Go back, take the left turn. Straight, then right. Dead end. Left this time. Dead end. Dead end. Dead end

Allura wasn’t sure how long she had been trapped in the quiznacking maze. It seemed like there was no way out, she was sure she had tried every option. Allura sank to the floor. Her head dropped to her hands and quiet tears leaked out of her eyes. She had failed.

No, absolutely not. Allura of Altea did  _ not _ fail. She was stronger than that. She had to be. Wipe the tears, stand up, hand on the wall, walk forward. Keep walking, keep trying, keep hitting dead ends. Keep accumulating small bumps and bruises as she hit walls she couldn’t see. This time, Allura kept better track of her turns, mapping out the maze in her head, remembering where the dead ends were.

But there was no way out, she was sure of it. Bob had trapped her in an endless maze. The paladins would be trapped, Voltron would be lost, and the Galra would win. It would be all her fault. And she was alone.

With a wordless scream of rage and frustration, Allura broke into a sprint. Right, right, straight, left, dead end, right, left, dead end, straight. If she was going to be trapped here for eternity, she was going to keep fighting for just as long. 

Then she slammed into a wall that she was sure wasn’t there before. She had seen Hunk hit a wall in the last dobosh of his warfle, but seeing him crash into nothingness did not compare to the pain it actually caused. Groaning, Allura raised a hand to her left temple, and winced when she touched the sensitive lump.

In the background she could hear Bob laughing, but as she whirled around he was nowhere to be seen. Baring her teeth into a snarl, Allura leapt up, trying to climb the wall. But there were no handholds and she simply slid back down. Alright, different tactic.

Allura closed her eyes and concentrated, willing her body to stretch and lengthen. She was able to grow to more than twice her normal height, but holding this form was exhausting. Summoning all her strength, Allura launched herself upwards with her arms extended above her head. But all she hit was the same smooth wall, seemingly all the way up to the ceiling.

Allura let go of her shape-shifting and leaned against the wall, too drained to stay standing on her own. “Please… I- I need help.”

“GOOD GOD ALLURA GET OFF THE FUCKING WALL!”

Allura slipped down to the floor as Pidge’s voice rang out, very loud and very clear. “Where are you? Why weren’t you there earlier?”

“We’re directly above you,” Hunk this time. Allura’s head whipped up, but there was nothing. “You can’t see us, couldn’t hear us before either.”

Allura braced against the wall as she got to her feet-- “ALLURA WHAT DID I JUST SAY!” Pidge yelled again.

“Hey Pidge, cut her a break. But yeah Princess, just because the wall wasn’t shocking you doesn’t mean it wasn’t shocking people,” Lance said. Allura’s mouth dropped open and she scrambled away from the wall.

“I’m so sorry! If I had realized I wouldn’t have-”

“It’s ok, Princess,” Lance started, voice soft.

“It’s not your fault Allura! It’s all Bob, that sadistic jerk!” Hunk continued, uncharacteristically loud and sharp.

“The thing that matters right now is getting you out of there.” Keith had been quiet up until this point, but he was level-headed and calm. He had matured a lot in the last two decaphoebs, clearly. “The walls have been moving around, so you’ll need to listen to us.”

_ No wonder it was so hard trying to keep track of all of the paths _ . Allura nodded, that was the whole point of the maze anyway, listening to her team. “Take three steps forward and then take the left turn,” Keith continued.

Allura let her team guide her. Keith typically took the lead, as he gave the most straightforward instructions. Hunk was the best at estimating distances, so he would sometimes correct Keith’s step counts. Pidge would chime in when the walls moved around, and Lance kept them all on track, mapping out the path to the finish. Allura smiled, they were a good team. When fate brought this little ragtag group to her castle, she wasn’t sure how they could hope to prevail. But they worked together perfectly, each of their skills complementing the others.

But of course it wouldn’t be that easy. “So, Allura, not to worry you or anything, but a bunch of gladiators just dropped into the maze,” Lance said, interrupting Keith’s instructions. “There’s one pretty close to you, and an additional five in the rest of the maze.”

Allura set her jaw. She could handle a couple of gladiators, even with the added difficulty of the invisible walls.

“Ok stay right there Allura and get ready. The first gladiator will be in front of you in three… two… one.”

But there was nothing.

“Are you sure because I don’t-” 

Allura couldn’t finish her question, as an unseen force flung her backwards into a wall. Her groans at the impact were echoed by the paladins as they were electrocuted by the wall.

“Where is it!?” Allura scrambled to her feet and sank into a defensive position. The gladiators must be invisible like the walls.  _ Quiznack Bob _ .

“Behind you! Duck!” Allura responded to Keith’s call, and felt something swish above her head.

“Turn!” Allura turned. “Uppercut! Jaw height!” Allura punched. The commands came from Pidge this time. She grinned in satisfaction as she felt her knuckles connect with solid metal. It would hurt later, but right now it felt like victory. 

As her team yelled directions, Allura fought her invisible opponent. Despite her skill and the paladins’ help, she was tired from shifting and unarmed, while the gladiator had its staff. Every successful hit she landed had her retreating two steps. A glancing blow to her ribs Allura couldn’t doge fast enough caused her to stumble into the wall. At this point, her team was used to the shocks and barely grunted, sending a wave of guilt through Allura.

But it did give her an idea. “When it goes to hit me again, tell me where the staff is.”

Two seconds later, Hunk called “Left hip!”

Allura grabbed blindly and felt a thrill of triumph as she gripped the end of the staff. She bent low and used her body weight to fling the gladiator over her shoulder and into the wall behind her. She couldn’t see either, but she heard the gladiator as it shorted out against the wall. It landed with a clunk and Allura kept a hold of its staff. Lance said there were five more gladiators and a weapon would be useful.

“Damn, Allura. Remind me never to spar with you again,” Lance said, just a touch of awe in his voice.

Allura smirked a bit at that. She knew she was a bit of a show off, but she never said she was perfect.

“Where to next?”

The next three gladiators went down without too much difficulty. The first she stabbed through the chest, but she broke her staff and nearly impaled herself on the shattered end sticking out of the gladiator. Hunk asked her not to try that again and Allura decided that was probably for the best. The second she crushed between two walls as they moved. Really that one was mostly luck and only a last-second yell from Pidge saved her from the same fate as the gladiator. The third she flung into a wall again. Allura leaned against her staff, panting in exertion. 

“Allura! The last two gladiators are running at you!” Lance yelled. “One from the left and one from the right.”

“It looks like they’ll get there at the same time. Do you think you can fight two at once?” Pidge asked.

Allura wanted to say of course. She was a Princess of Altea and she could do anything she set her mind to. Instead she sighed. “Honestly, I’m not sure. Any ways to avoid them? Or at least one?”

“I don’t think so,” Keith answered. “But I have an idea. Can you still shift?” Allura nodded. “Ok so on my command, shrink as small as you can, as quickly as you can.”

Allura waited in silence, drawing upon the energy in her cells. Readying herself for Keith’s call. She closed her eyes and put all of her trust into her team. They would get her through this.

“NOW!” Allura shrunk so fast the world spun, vertigo suddenly overwhelming her. Above her she heard a loud crash, but without being able to see the gladiators, she wasn’t exactly sure what had happened.

“Allura, are you ok?” Hunk called. “That was brilliant, Keith. Getting them to stab each other like that.”

Allura let go of her transformation, standing upright again. “Thank you, I’m ok. Now, let’s get me out of this quiznacking maze.”

Lance and Pidge chuckled at that. They resumed their earlier pattern and it took less than a dobosh for Allura to exit the maze.

As soon as she reached the finish, fireworks exploded and a cheer erupted from an unseen crowd.

“Well done Princess! That sure was a triiiiicky one, wasn’t it!” Bob said with his sickenly sweet affectation. But Allura was not one to be cowed.

“We are paladins of Voltron. You cannot defeat us.” Bob simply laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost done with Bob wooo! As I've said before kudos/comments will encourage me to write faster!


	6. We Know the Game and We're Going to Play it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this chapter basically finished for a while, but I got caught up in writing some of the later chapters. I cannot write in chronological order whatsoever. And it's a bit of a shorter chapter, sorry. Chapter title from the classic Never Gonna Give You Up, because Pidge is a gremlin and it fits surprisingly well with the chapter.

Pidge was done with this shit. Bob had his fun torturing the other paladins, but they were fucking done. They were done getting electrocuted. They were done being manipulated like Bob’s stupid little marionnettes. They were done playing along with Bob’s games. And they were the most done with his stupid laugh.

Bob was laughing as he brought Pidge over to the Podium of Torment. Pidge was only half-listening as Bob explained their Warfle, which seemed basically like the wedding game. The paladins were all given tablets and styluses to answer the questions with, and their answers had to match Pidge’s. They weren’t exactly sure what the point of this was, and were frankly a little disappointed. Allura and Hunk got cool video game type Warfles, and Lance and Pidge were stuck with lame party games.

But anyway, what Pidge  _ was  _ paying attention to was their plan to take Bob down. Even though the stupid game was lame, it was probably easier that they were all in the game show room; in the last two Warfles he only popped into existence periodically. But even in the game show room, Bob always kept just out of reach and was clearly crazy powerful, so they would need to figure out a way to catch him off guard.

“Allll righty then Pidge! For your first question, your partner is Hunk!” Solid, Hunk and Pidge were close. They could do this. “What is Hunk’s favorite food to make?”

_ What??? _ Hunk cooked and baked all the time! How was Pidge supposed to know what was his favorite? Why couldn’t they have gotten Lance’s questions, Pidge knew the answer to those. As the countdown neared zero, Pidge hastily scribbled down ‘cake’ onto their tablet. They knew it was wrong though, and the loud buzzer confirmed it. 

“Paifala, Pidge.  _ Paifala _ . I’ve made them for you before!” Hunk called, exacerbated as he showed his tablet. “Remember, the little pies with crushed pineapple?”

Now that he mentioned it, Pidge  _ did _ distinctly remember Hunk at the Garrison, holding a tray of pastries, saying “These are my favorite things to make!” And they were  _ good _ too. But how was Pidge supposed to remember that? They had an intergalactic empire to dismantle, they couldn’t cram everything into their brain.

The paladins were shocked, again. But at this point they were all expecting it and Keith looked frankly bored.

“Now onto Allura!” Bob called, clearly delighted by his own little torture device/game show shtick he had going on. “What was the first thing she said to the paladins?”

Pidge groaned. That was over a year ago! How on earth were they supposed to remember that? What they wanted to do was figure out a way to take Bob down, but instead they were frantically searching their memory for some random phrase Allura said once. Was it something about Lance’s ears?

The buzzer sounded again and Pidge groaned again. “I called out to my father,” Allura said softly and Pidge felt a bit guilty. Of course that was the answer. Their friends were shocked again and Pidge’s guilt increased.

“Up next is Keith!” Bob called. “What is his favorite animal?”

Pidge groaned for the millionth time. (They were going to set a record at this point: most groans during a space god game show round.) What was with all these inane questions? Pidge desperately thought through every conversation they had had with Keith.  _ Favorite animal, favorite animal. We must have talked about it at some point! _

_ “Hippo, hippo, hippo. Pidge it’s a hippo. I  _ really _ don’t want to get shocked again. Just write hippo!” _

Pidge stared at Lance. Because they clearly heard Lance, but he was not moving his lips. Either Lance was suddenly a talented ventriloquist or they were communicating telepathically. Pidge was leaning towards the latter explanation. Lance’s voice in their head felt like the kind of connection they all had when they formed Voltron, or when they used the neural headsets when they first became paladins.

And Pidge’s whole life had turned into a bad sci-fi movie at this point, so telepathy was not out of the range of normal. Could Lance somehow be connected to them through their lions? Or was it something Bob was doing? Another hypothesis: it could be a trick and hippo wasn’t the right answer. That was also possible; Bob was an asshole like that. Maybe- 

The counter reached three ticks so Pidge hastily wrote hippo and prayed to the great spaghetti god that that was the right answer. And they were rewarded with a happy buzzer and a lack of electricity frying their friends. Pidge gave Lance a wink, who cocked an eyebrow at them in surprise.  _ Can you hear my thoughts? _

Pidge nodded with a sly smile that Lance returned. Ok, so maybe this was cheating, but it worked. Did Pidge give a flying fuck? Nope, not a singular one. Plus this allowed Pidge the freedom to plot their escape.

Lance was a fucking gold mine of random facts. Pidge learned (or rather relearned because presumably they knew all these things at some point) that Lance’s favorite part of the Voltron Show was the aerial ribbons and that Hunk had a dog named Henley as a kid. And Allura’s biggest pet peeve was people biting their nails. And that Keith was a strong believer in mothman. (Pidge didn’t actually need Lance’s help with that one. Pidge had had extended conversations with Matt when they were younger on the scientific probability of different cryptids existing and Keith didn’t like what Pidge had had to say on the subject.)

Meanwhile Pidge watched Bob. His flight pattern was seemingly erratic, but he was actually following a long and complex pattern. Spin, spin, loop-de-loop, twirl, spin, and so on. He was never quite in arm’s reach though. So they needed a two-part plan: distraction and snatching.

The distraction part was easy; the spotlight that lit up the paladins was directly above Lance. If Lance angled his tablet the right way he could easily blind Bob. As a fellow younger sibling, Pidge knew Lance would have no problem with that. 

The issue was with the snatching. Pidge couldn’t come up with a plan that only involved Lance and themself, and they had no way of communicating with the other paladins.

“Pidge is on a roll! But this might stump ya! Allura has a birthmark on her shoulder in what shape?” Bob asked in a way too happy voice. And as much as it annoyed Pidge, Bob was right, Pidge had no idea what shape Allura’s birthmark was. They weren’t even aware that Allura had a birthmark. But they had Lance on their side and Lance would totally know.

“ _ I have no idea, Pidge.” _

Fuck. “ _ What do you mean you don’t know? Aren’t you obsessed with her?”  _ Pidge thought at Lance angrily.

“ _ Hey! I’m not obsessed with her! And I certainly don’t look at people’s bodies like that! I’m not a creep!”  _ Lance thought back, with a level of venom Pidge was not expecting. 

Pidge decided to just guess, and was disappointed, but not surprised that dodecahedron was not the right answer. It was a triangle, which was a much lamer shape than a dodecahedron. After that, things took another downward turn, much to Bob’s cackling delight. Even with Lance’s help, they were getting more answers wrong than right and Pidge had no time to plan any escape. Lance had a suspicion that Bob was catching on, and was pointedly asking questions Lance didn’t know the answer to, and Pidge agreed with him.

So instead of trying to brainstorm with Lance what Hunk dreamed about two months ago, they breathed deeply and quieted their brain. That used to be a struggle; the touchy-feely magical bond part of Voltron never really sat right with Pidge. But after months of forming Voltron they had gotten better at it. Plus, if they could get it to work right now, it would really save all of their collective asses.

They envisioned their mind spreading out from their body in tendrils, connecting not only to Lance, but the rest of the team. Pidge felt a jolt of surprise as Allura’s consciousness opened up, quickly followed by Hunk and Keith. Pidge grinned in victory. Now things would get fun.

Bob would ask what was Hunk’s middle name, and they would both answer Karen. And Lance said his favorite fish was a penguin. Even Keith and Allura got into it, Allura stating that she’d been on dates with two dozen different alien species, and Keith telling Pidge to write down two when Bob asked when Keith learned to throw knives. Which, objectively, were all wrong answers, but since they both had the same word written on their tablets, Bob couldn’t do anything about it. But if he suspected anything (which he probably did, even though he was a grade-A dick he was almost certainly omnipotent), Bob’s gross-ass way-too-happy attitude didn’t reflect it.

And while fucking with Bob was  _ incredibly  _ satisfying, Pidge was just waiting until Bob moved into position. With the connection Pidge had with their team, they concocted a plan to take the fucker out. If Keith threw his tablet at a blinded Bob at the right moment in his cycle, it would push him directly into Pidge’s tiny arms. Pidge explained their plan, more in feelings than in words, and felt their understanding.

When Bob asked what color were Lance’s socks (what kind of dumbass question was that?), right as he finished the corkscrew turn in his pattern and moved into the correct position with all the angles lined up, Pidge signalled their team with a thought and a wink. Lance raised his tablet, bouncing light into Bob’s eyes. Keith threw his tablet like he was throwing his knife, and the pointed corner caught the little alien in the chest. Bob flew backward with a loud gasp of pain. That wasn’t in Pidge’s plan, but they weren’t going to argue it. The sadistic fucker had it coming. Pidge grabbed him and pinned his stupid head to the podium.

“Let us go now!” Pidge growled. They heard Lance cheer and Hunk gasp loudly in surprise in the background, but they kept their focus on the god-like asshole they had pressed underneath their forearm. Bob was shocked, but showed no signs of caving. So Pidge let go with their right hand, winding back to punch Bob in his stupid face.

Loud alarms started blaring and red lights flashed. Bob grinned widely and Pidge could have sworn they heard him whisper “Good job, paladin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter of the game show and then we're moving on to the next plotline! As always, comments/kudos encourage me to write faster and I really appreciate it!


	7. Rapid Decompression

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all back with the last game show chapter! I really liked writing these because I'm a firm believer that a show is only as good as its filler episodes and Voltron.... well. Anyway here's Keith! Chapter title from Rapid Decompression by Against Me! They are hands down one of my favorite bands and Laura Jane Grace could kill me and I'd thank her.

“Okay, I know I’ve said this before many times, but  _ this  _ is the freakiest thing I’ve ever seen,” Hunk said. Keith wasn’t going to argue that. One moment, Pidge had Bob pinned and sirens were wailing, the next they were all standing in a large gladiator type arena. Despite the change in location, they were still trapped at their podiums like they had been in the game show room. Not for the first time, Keith was glad Shiro wasn’t here. Bob would have a field day with his brother’s PTSD and this arena would definitely bring back some bad memories. 

“Looks like our paladins have made it to the final round! If you survive this, you advance to the challenge round!” Bob exclaimed excitedly. Keith breathed a sigh of relief. All they had to do was make it through one more of these. He decided to ignore the words ‘survive’ and ‘challenge round.’ Those didn’t sound great and he needed to focus on whatever Bob was going to throw his way.

“Aaaallllllrighty then Keith. Black Paladin, leader of Voltron! Are you ready?”

“Yes.”

“Wow, what a way with words!” Bob jeered, followed by canned laughter. “With a diplomat like you leading Voltron, the universe is in good hands!”

Keith internally winced at Bob’s comment. How  _ could  _ his socially awkward ass hope to forge alliances and broker peace in a war-torn universe? Why Black chose him was a mystery. But he wasn’t going to give Bob the satisfaction of knowing he got to him, so he stayed stony faced. 

“Your warfle, Keith, will be a matching game!” The invisible audience that had been haunting them the whole time gave a loud cheer. “Make the four matches, then we’ll see if you got them right!”

As Bob spoke, 8 cards appeared on his podium. Four of them had a paladin’s face on them (excepting Keith). The other four had pictures he didn’t recognize. The first was the most intimidating; a giant hulking alien carrying a spiked club. The second was a large reptilian creature with five heads. The third was more confusing. It was just a rabbit-like animal, but orange and with one extra eye. And the fourth was just a pile of rocks? Lastly, a large red button popped up.

The huge alien looked strong and most likely required the best hand-to-hand combat skills. Which was definitely Allura. Keith slid Allura’s face card over to create a match. The hydra probably needed speed and accuracy. So Lance. The rabbit, though. Keith did not trust that rabbit. No way Bob was going to just put some fluffy bunny in his twisted game. There was more to it than what appeared at first glance. So as much as he wanted to put Lance with the hydra, he was the most adaptable and the team’s jack of all trades. Whatever the rabbit had to throw at him, Lance could handle it. Keith hoped. So he moved Lance’s card. 

Pidge was the logical second choice for the Hydra. They were just as fast as Lance was and even though they didn’t have Lance’s sniper eyes, their bayard could definitely do some long-range damage. They were going to be able to get their bayards, right? Bob wouldn’t just throw his friends in there unarmed. Keith had to believe that. That he wasn’t dooming his friends to a hopeless fight.

And then the rocks. What the  _ fuck _ were those supposed to mean? Were they supposed to dodge them? Hold them? Lift them? Keith had no clue. If the rocks were going to be thrown, Keith didn’t want to put Hunk in there. The Yellow Paladin’s skills did not lie in agility. He also didn’t really want to put Hunk with the gladiator. Hunk was strong, but he was a range fighter. But then, Allura had already fought gladiators in her warfle, had already proved that she could do that. And as nonsensical as Bob’s warfles seemed, there must be some kind of plan, some ulterior motive.

So Keith went with his gut and switched Allura and Hunk’s cards then hit the button. As he did, the podiums started to move. Keith was at the dead center of the arena and each paladin was in a different quarter. The rest of the paladins’ podiums disappeared and a translucent blue barrier went up between Lance, Pidge, Hunk, and Allura, but Keith could access all four of them. Great, so if any of them need help, Keith could jump in. Just as he thought that, his arms flew behind his back like he’d been handcuffed and his legs slammed together. He tried shifting his weight to get his podium to move, and while it was able to spin in a circle, Keith was stuck in place.  _ Ok, so no helping. _

“You have ten doboshes to find out if you made the correct matches! If they die, you made the wrong match!” Bob said, disturbingly cheerfully.

With only a couple of beeps as a warning, objects landed in each quadrant and the podiums vanished. The gladiator, hydra, and rabbit landed as expected, but Allura had a ten foot wide shallow bowl dropped directly on top of her. She yelled in surprise, but caught it without too much of an issue. Spinning to face Hunk (who had his bayard in hand thank  _ god _ ), Keith saw that the fight had already started. The alien was half again as tall as Hunk and charged at him with his club raised. Did Keith choose wrong? Should he have put Allura with the gladiator? She at least could shapeshift to match her opponent’s size. But Hunk was calm and determined. He fired a few blasts at the giant and then used his large gun as a shield to catch the club as it threatened to bash his skull in. Hunk threw the club off to the side and backed up rapidly to give him some space to fire at the gladiator. The shots Hunk landed didn’t have a major effect on the alien, but he was slowed a little 

A hiss from Keith’s right drew his attention to Pidge and the Hydra. They were circling each other cautiously. One of the hydra’s heads would lunge at Pidge and they would dodge and strike back with their bayard. Or Pidge would go on the offensive, extending their bayard to the mass of heads and teeth. The hiss came as Pidge connected strongly and Keith smiled. They would be ok.

“Seriously Keith, a rabbit?” Lance yelled. The rabbit was sitting in the center of Lance’s section, doing absolutely nothing. It blinked up at Keith and looked like the least threatening thing in the universe. 

“Is that all you think I can handle?” Lance continued. “Lance the pet sitter! So amazing!” 

“It’s not a rabbit, it’s an alien species, Lance! It could be very aggressive or who knows what else! Just shoot it to be safe!”

“I’m not shooting a rabbit, Keith! Do you seriously think this thing is a threat?” Lance shot back.

A series of beeps, the same as when the challenge started, sounded and Lance quickly dropped the argumentative act and crouched in a defensive position. 

“Another fucking rabbit! What is up with this?”

But Keith wasn’t paying attention to Lance anymore. The beeps that dropped a rabbit for Lance dropped a fucking boulder on Allura. She caught it in the bowl she had been carrying without stumbling. Keith breathed a sigh of relief that he had in fact chosen correctly. Hunk was crazy strong, but a rock that big would have pancaked any human. 

Slowly turning in a full circle, Keith checked on the paladins. Hunk and Pidge were breathing heavy, but not in any immediate danger. Allura was holding strong, even as the beeps dropped more rocks on her. Lance yelled in outrage as another rabbit dropped in his section.

Keith held his breath and waited anxiously. Maybe he chose right. Maybe his leadership wouldn’t get his friends killed. He estimated that they were about halfway through the challenge, but Bob didn’t provide a timer this time, so he could only guess. But if the past challenges and Keith’s general life experience were any basis, shit was sure to hit the fan soon.

And like clockwork, it did. Allura stumbled as the next round of rocks crashed onto her, the pile teetering precariously. Her knees buckled under the strain and although she recovered, several rocks came crashing down. One fell through the gap in the blue barrier, landing far too close to Keith’s body for comfort. Another tipped over the barrier into Lance’s section, squashing one of the rabbits. 

Instantaneously, the air filled with a god-awful metallic screeching. The rabbits were all facing Lance, emitting the eardrum-shattering shriek. There were about twenty of them in there with Lance and he was surrounded. Their long, fluffy hair stood on end and became sharp-looking. They now looked more like porcupines with long ears.

“What did I tell you, Lance! Shoot the fucking rabbits!” Keith yelled as the first rabbit lunged at Lance.

“Well, duh. Obviously I’m going to shoot them now!” Lance replied dryly, quickly taking out two of the creatures. “But I still maintain that they weren’t going to attack if I didn’t do anything. They only became gremlins because they felt threatened by the rock.”

Keith had to concede that Lance had a point, but it was moot now. They were aggressive and needed to be taken out before Lance was killed. And just to add insult to injury, the aliens started shooting their quills at Lance, which he only just managed to dodge. Well, at least it was Lance in there; he’d be able to hold his own.

Keith had spent too much time worrying about Lance and he needed to check on the rest of his team. He spun to see Hunk as he took a glancing blow from the alien’s club. He rolled sideways to lessen the strength of the impact and got to his feet, winded but ok. 

Pidge had incapacitated one of the head of the hydra which hung limply to the floor, but they were favoring their left leg pretty heavily.

Beep beep beep. Another pile of rocks for Allura. Another angry, spikey rabbit for Lance.

Hunk landed a shot on the alien’s club, shattering it in his hand. Hunk moved on the offensive, firing an unrelenting volley of shots at the gladiator. He fell to his knees and Hunk gave a victorious shout as he moved closer for the final shot. Then the beeps came again and another bigger, spikier club appeared in the alien’s hand. Hunk tried to retreat, but couldn’t move fast enough as the gladiator swung his club. Hunk was thrown into the side of the barrier with the force of the hit. 

Keith’s heart stopped as Hunk lay still.  _ Get up, get up,  _ please _ get up _ . Hunk couldn’t be dead, not because of Keith's bad decision.

Pidge screamed as one of the hydra’s heads sunk its teeth into their side. 

Allura was forced to her knees as the next round of rocks fell on her. 

Lance was swarmed by the rabbit-porcupines, several of their spines sticking out of his arms, legs, and even one on his cheek.

Keith was going to vomit. He had done this. He was the leader and he had sent his team to their deaths and there was nothing Keith could do. He just had to sit and watch, helpless and useless.

Then, just to make matters worse, the gladiator turned away from Hunk’s prone body, walking directly towards Keith. He wanted to draw his sword, charge at the alien, and protect his friends. But all he could do was watch as certain death walked towards him.

As focused as Keith was on the gladiator, the stabbing pain in his back was a total shock. Keith was no stranger to injury; he had been hit, stabbed, and shot more times than he could count. But this  _ hurt _ . It burned like he had fire injected into his veins. He glanced quickly over his shoulder – not wanting to take his eyes off of the gladiator for long – to see one of the rabbit’s spines sticking out of his back, just right of his shoulder blade. Lance had nearly a dozen of these things sticking out of him, how could he still be fighting?

The gladiator was yards away from Keith. He raised his club, and Keith closed his eyes. This was it. He had failed. He braced for impact and probably death. And waited.

“Keith! Duck!” Lance shouted. Keith reacted instinctively, dropping as much as Bob’s constraints would allow him to. 

The gladiator roared in pain as Lance’s shot connected with his right shoulder. He dropped his club, but continued towards Keith, an angry fire in his eyes.

_ Well, fuck _ . Back to preparing for death.

This time the shot came from behind the gladiator, who stumbled to his knees from the force of it. Behind him, Keith could see Hunk, worse for wear but very much alive.

“Hey ya big brute! Come get me!” Hunk called. The gladiator slowly turned to face the Yellow Paladin. Then lowered his head like a battering ram and charged. 

“AAAHHH! That worked a little too well!” Despite Hunk’s scared words, he stood firm and fired rapid blasts at the alien. When he was moments away, Hunk sidestepped quickly, sending the giant crashing into the barrier. Keith swallowed the pit that had been lodged in his throat. Hunk was alive and doing fine. Maybe they would all get out of this ok.

Keith should know by now to never even think optimistic thoughts. The universe just loved pulling the rug from underneath his feet. 

This form of cosmic cruelty took the form of the hydra’s teeth sinking into his left thigh. Unlike the quill (which still hurt like a motherfucker), the bite felt more like a good old-fashioned stabbing.

“Keith! Are you ok?” Pidge cried, voice laced with guilt. “These! Stupid! Heads! Won’t! Die!” Pidge punctuated their words with frustrated jabs at the hydra’s three remaining heads, which dodged away from them easily. 

Keith’s response was replaced by a shout of surprise as a boulder the size of a large dog came crashing down next to him. Allura’s pile of rocks was too large to balance properly, sending them falling into Lance and Hunk’s sections and apparently basically on top of Keith. 

“We need to protect Keith!” Lance yelled. “He’s a sitting duck over there.”

Keith shook his head emphatically. “Absolutely not. Focus on yourselves, I’ll be fine.”

“Bullshit, Keith. You’re tied up and it’s only a matter of time before you’re squashed or mauled.”  _ Wow, thanks Pidge for that lovely imagery and vote of confidence. _

Another quill lodged itself in Keith’s back and he grunted in pain.  _ Ugh, fine.  _ “Hunk, Pidge, keep your fights to the back of your sections. Allura, try to angle the rocks so don’t fall over here. And Lance, these quills hurt but they shouldn’t kill me. Focus on not dying over there.”

With a Herculean effort, Allura heaved the enormous pile of rocks, angling the bowl so it blocked the gap between the barrier. Hunk and Pidge on the other hand moved the back of their quarters of the arena, drawing the hydra and gladiator with them and pulling attention away from Keith. 

Lance though, positioned himself in the gap of the barrier. His bayard shifted back and forth between his sniper rifle, a massive broadsword, and a shield. He was a flurry of movement, taking out a rabbit from across the arena, slashing at one leaping at his throat. Lance wasn’t dodging the quills anymore either, taking the hits on his shield and even moving into the path of the quills, acting as a human shield. It would be really impressive if it wasn’t so stupid.

“Lance, did you listen at all to what I said? Protect yourself and stop being a martyr!” Keith yelled, voice cracking slightly with fear and anger. 

“Hypocrite!”

“ _ What _ ?”

“You heard me. You were more than willing to let someone get hit with these things when that someone was you. But since you’re a little tied up at the moment, so I get to decide.”

“Nobody has to get themselves killed trying to be a hero! Not now, not ever. There’s always another option!” Keith yelled. “At the very least, stop trying to get shot. I can take any that go wide,  _ please _ protect yourself.”

Lance didn’t respond, but he listened to Keith, dodging whenever possible. 

A loud buzzer rang through the arena and in a blink of an eye, they were back in the game show room. Allura was still crouched like she was holding up the pile of rocks, Pidge was mid-swing, and Lance and Hunk were holding now-vanished guns. 

“Congratulations!” Bob shouted and an explosion of confetti erupted over them. “It looks like the Paladins have just finished the individual warfles and made it into the final round: the team challenge!”

Keith was floated back over to the paladins as Bob continued. “One of you will now be allowed to leave the game. The rest of you will be staying here with me forever. You have blazzle hoochas to write down your choice for who should get to escape on the screen in front of you. Go!”

Keith didn’t even have to think. Lance, obviously Lance. Lance understood people in a way Keith never could even get a grasp of and he was a damn good fighter. And most importantly, he was the heart of the team, the spirit, the glue, whatever trite metaphor you wanted to use. If anyone could carry on Voltron’s legacy, it would be Lance.

Hunk voted for Allura because she was a natural leader. (Which was true. Again, why was Keith the Black Paladin?) Allura voted for Pidge because they could rebuild Altea’s legacy. And then it was Lance’s turn. “I voted for Keith. He’s our leader, plus he’s half-Galra, so I think he’s, like, the future.”

Keith’s heart stopped at the soft smile Lance gave. Lance, who picked fights nonstop with Keith, voted for  _ him _ to leave this hellhole. Lance  _ chose _ him.

“Keith, the leader, who do you think deserves to make it out of here, huh?” Bob asked. Keith just glared at him as his screen flashed.

“Lance? Why Lance?”

_ Gotta stop thinking gay thoughts. Gotta stop thinking gay thoughts _ . “I just don’t wanna be stuck here for eternity with Lance.”  _ Wow, waaaaay too harsh _ .

Luckily Lance didn’t take Keith’s words to heart. “Aw, thanks man,” he said teasingly.

Keith didn’t respond. He couldn’t respond, as his heart was lodged somewhere in his esophagus.

Pidge chose Hunk because he was the nicest person in the universe, finishing up the game. They all got the same votes, so who would get to leave? Bob wouldn’t keep them all there, would he?

“No one voted for themselves. Everyone wanted someone else to get to leave and every single one of you got a vote. Bob said, worryingly pensively.

“You all…” Bob’s voice grew distorted and Keith’s heart sank.  _ Fuck, they were all trapped here and the universe was screwed _ . “Won the game!”

Confetti exploded again and the paladins cheered. Hunk and Lance were hugging and Pidge was pumping their fist in the air. Keith cracked a little bit of a smile, not willing to let Bob get too much satisfaction.

“That’s our show, everybody! From all of us here at Garfle Warfle Snick, please have your klanmuirls spayed or neutered. Good night!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And good riddance Bob! I'm in the midst of applying to grad schools so next update might be a little slow (like any of my updates are fast lol) but it's Shiro and the team recovering from Bob's assholery. Or mine I guess ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ As always kudos/comments encourage me to write faster I every one makes me so happy!
> 
> .... also a bit of a shameless plug I've started an instagram store called @twig.and.twine.crochet selling crocheted things. Mostly bralettes atm but I'm planning on doing earrings and some hats once it gets colder. I don't do a lot of fandom on my social media, but you can contact me out there and if you'd like to support me I'd greatly appreciate it!


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